I don't think I treasure life. At the beginning of a 10 years, I will set a goal of only 10 years. During these 10 years, I will do my best to destroy my health.
I deliberately put on weight so that my husband can have excuses to look for another woman elsewhere. To my dismay, till now he still refuse to.
So I added pressure into my daily life that leads to depression. I rejected doctors plan for recovery. I either missed my daily dose or deliberately overdose. Now I have liver due to overweight & overdosing. (3 more years to the next 10 years, hope I be able to fulfill my wish)
I refuse to love my ASD child. She is the cause of my unable to divorce marriage. I taught her not to love mummy, to use despicable word on me. (eg. Mummy go and die, Mummy when will you be killing yourself)
No one can understand why am I like that. I am just too tired to continue to pretend to be a nice lady. I just wanted to be myself and reached my goal of dying young.
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